September 27th, 1857
I feel free. Like a bird. For days, now I have been smiling. I feel happy, which I haven’t felt for a long time now. Everything feels......amazing. Currently, I am in hiding- but I don’t mind. I am very surprised, actually, that my plan has worked. I feel proud of myself, and for once I do not feel like I am someone’s slave. I have the urge to tell someone proudly of what I have done, that I have stood up. I cannot exactly tell my children, for I am not quite sure, they will understand. Then again, what is this diary for? I still remember when my governess gave me my first diary. It was my desire to become a governess but, no, instead I got married.
I was very depressed after my miscarriage- to be honest, that topic is still very painful. Then I realized that I just could not sit around and wallow in self pity. I noticed that the house was crumbling apart, and so I decided to use that as my excuse. While Jacob and Elena amused themselves, I climbed up to the roof. I struggled in pain, but it was worth it. As soon as I managed to go up on the roof, Jacob came out with Annabelle. He said something about trying not to make the roof fall in, but I was busy looking at Annabelle. She had this arrogant look on her face which still bothers me. However, when the two lovebirds left, I called my children. I asked them to climb up to the roof. When they did, I told them we had to go somewhere far away. They quickly agreed for they know good lies in this.
I took some items and stuffed them in to my many reticules. I also took some of my jewelery. If time came, I would trade. I will no longer be someone’s slave. I will work, save, and make a new home for me and my children. The only problem is that I have to do this in hiding. The police can catch me and Jacob has the right to imprison me. The surprising thing is that I am not scared. I will never be, and I will teach my children the same.
Margaret Lockwood
By Rabia
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